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A Razor's Edge
Below is what L. in Spain wrote after a contemplation about choosing the beneficial over the pleasurable, in regards to getting up in the morning to meditate:
Well, I must say that your friend's plight (not being able to wake up in the morning to meditate) struck a chord, having worked with this particular thing a lot. …For me framing this particular issue as a pleasurable vs. beneficial thing was precisely what kept me revolving on the whole dichotomy of ‘good spiritual girl’ and ‘bad worldly hedonist.’ More recently, I decided to look at it in a completely different light... I decided to meditate when it was practical for my schedule and the pace of life I lead, to look deeper and be more creative with my solutions and not let myself off the meditation hook.
I gave myself permission to meditate for short periods, at any time, but my commitment was to just do it... little by little the pleasure of sitting began to wiggle itself into my schedule, I began to be more self-accepting and loving of myself and excited about letting my spiritual commitment express itself in ways that I previously judged as unorthodox, and I began to give up the addictive pleasure of feeling bad about not practicing... I also get up earlier a lot more often and I let myself enjoy the pleasures of the delicious sheets if that is what I have decided to do.
I think it is a really tricky issue, and definitely the razor's edge. And one I continue to dance on. It's a great contemplation.
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